Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Imagine wanting something so badly that you’ll do anything to get it. Dishonesty, disloyalty, racism, homophobia, the steadfast promise to deliver something you know in your heart is intrinsically repugnant: nothing is off the table in your quest to lay your hands on that which is rightfully yours. Imagine then, that you finally achieve your … Continue reading Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Adopting a puppy not a cure for being a prick, warn researchers

Arseholes will continue to be arseholes even after the adoption of a small dog, according to research published today. A University of Slough paper states that traits such as disloyalty, misogyny and having hair that looks like you’ve just been fucked in a privet hedge by a 300 lb gorilla remain entirely unaffected by pet … Continue reading Adopting a puppy not a cure for being a prick, warn researchers

“We demand the thing that will irrevocably fuck our health service,” say people with complex medical needs

People with dodgy hips who take five different types of tablets a day renewed calls this afternoon for the UK to commit to a course of action that will exacerbate near-crippling levels of NHS staff shortages and lead to a potential scarcity of vital medical supplies. The purple-nosed attendees of the Brexit Party rally in … Continue reading “We demand the thing that will irrevocably fuck our health service,” say people with complex medical needs