Man who has trouble predicting entirely predictable things somehow still alive

It has emerged today that a man who is unable to foresee the most obvious shit imaginable has somehow managed not to die, despite his prolific and unrelenting stupidity. Rod Purley, an irredeemable twat who makes a living running the BBC into the fucking ground, has somehow managed to remain not deceased for a period … Continue reading Man who has trouble predicting entirely predictable things somehow still alive

Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Imagine wanting something so badly that you’ll do anything to get it. Dishonesty, disloyalty, racism, homophobia, the steadfast promise to deliver something you know in your heart is intrinsically repugnant: nothing is off the table in your quest to lay your hands on that which is rightfully yours. Imagine then, that you finally achieve your … Continue reading Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Adopting a puppy not a cure for being a prick, warn researchers

Arseholes will continue to be arseholes even after the adoption of a small dog, according to research published today. A University of Slough paper states that traits such as disloyalty, misogyny and having hair that looks like you’ve just been fucked in a privet hedge by a 300 lb gorilla remain entirely unaffected by pet … Continue reading Adopting a puppy not a cure for being a prick, warn researchers

Farage launches ‘Ramble for Racism’ to fund new telly

Latex-faced Hitler enthusiast, Nigel Farage, announced exciting plans yesterday to march from Sunderland to another bit of Sunderland before getting in a bus full of other horrendous cunts and driving somewhere else. This ambitious project is designed to raise awareness of the fact that some traitorous elements of the British population are still betraying the … Continue reading Farage launches ‘Ramble for Racism’ to fund new telly

Episode 9

Max talks about Brexit, drones, Piers Morgan and all the other terrible stuff that’s happened since Episode 8. Contains frequent strong language.

Literally everything more important than sorting out Brexit clusterfuck, confirms govt

The government today confirmed to concerned UK citizens that not shitting up almost every aspect of their already miserable lives sits at the very fucking bottom of the list of Conservative priorities, below ‘arsefisting the NHS to death’ and ‘inflammatory xenophobic posturing’. Following suggestions before Christmas that the parliamentary break should be cancelled or curtailed … Continue reading Literally everything more important than sorting out Brexit clusterfuck, confirms govt