International Men’s Day: How femininity made me a ‘real man’

As International Men’s Day rolls around every year, we hear the earnest and all too familiar warnings about how suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 50, and how, if we just learn to accept vulnerability in men, to champion the ability to show emotion and talk about how we feel, we might … Continue reading International Men’s Day: How femininity made me a ‘real man’

In defence of the true victims of Me Too: I will not desert you

The news that women have finally achieved true equality could hardly be more welcome. Who could fail to be uplifted by the realisation that fifty percent of the world’s population are now, without exception, paid what they are worth, able to express ideas without being shouted down by the other fifty percent, and free to … Continue reading In defence of the true victims of Me Too: I will not desert you

Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Imagine wanting something so badly that you’ll do anything to get it. Dishonesty, disloyalty, racism, homophobia, the steadfast promise to deliver something you know in your heart is intrinsically repugnant: nothing is off the table in your quest to lay your hands on that which is rightfully yours. Imagine then, that you finally achieve your … Continue reading Puppies, poultry and self-immolation: an object lesson in being careful what you wish for

Letting kids be kids: the fig leaf of the homophobe

To those who aren’t hateful fucking trash, queer folk are just normal people. We go to work, we pay bills, we watch TV, we go for walks, we enjoy opera or sports or books. We have friendships, relationships, families. We fall in love and we break up and we’re flawed and messy and fragile and damaged and…human.

The homophobia we experience as children spreads throughout our lives like ripples on a pond. I remember everything, and so will your children.

I feel angry. Angry that we’re having to refight battles we’ve already fought, and which belong firmly in the past; angry that narrow-minded people seek to use the protective veil of religious belief to excuse their hateful bigotry and intolerance; and utterly fucking enraged that another generation of children might have to endure what I and so many others like me had to endure some thirty years ago.